Today on The Egg Whisperer Show, I’m so thrilled to welcome the insightful and compassionate Dr. Stacia Mills, a reproductive psychiatrist joining us from Oakland, California! Dr. Mills has a passion for supporting patients’ mental wellness on their fertility journey, and she’s here to share invaluable tips on how to keep your mental health strong while trying to conceive, navigating pregnancy, and throughout the postpartum period.
In this brand new episode, we dive into the differences between psychiatrists, psychologists, and therapists, and how each can support you in unique ways. Dr. Mills also highlights the power of early support for managing anxiety and depression, which can be especially helpful for anyone facing the emotional rollercoaster of family planning.
One of the best parts? Dr. Mills shares wisdom from her ebook, A Brief Guide to Mental Wellness While Family Planning, packed with practical advice for lifestyle changes that can lift your mood and support reproductive health. From the importance of a good support network to the big benefits of balanced nutrition, exercise, and quality sleep, Dr. Mills explains how these factors all play a role in mental well-being.
She also emphasizes that no matter what your journey to family looks like, you deserve mental health care that’s just as unique as you are. So tune in, prioritize your wellness, and let’s take some steps together toward a happier, healthier you!
Resources:
Find Dr. Stacia Mill’s Website here.
Full Transcript:
Dr. Aimee: Let’s get started. I’d love to have you share what led you to become a psychiatrist who specializes in the mental health of family planning, infertility, pregnancy, and postpartum.
Dr. Stacia Mills: It was a little bit of a long road to get here. I started out when I was younger. I actually have a somewhat extensive mental illness history in my family, so I knew when I was quite young that I wanted to help people to feel mentally well, and I was able to see how important it was.
Dr. Aimee: Can you explain why a patient would opt to see a psychiatrist and how your practice differs from a therapist or psychologist?
Dr. Stacia Mills: I get this question all the time, actually. A therapist is kind of an umbrella term that talks about somebody who offers talk therapy. That could be a counselor, it could be a social worker, it could be a marriage and family therapist. Also, it could be a psychologist or it could be a psychiatrist. If you’re looking at someone who is a therapist who is a marriage and family therapist, who is a counselor or a social worker, they’re at master’s level degree.
If you’re looking at a psychologist, they have a doctorate level, a PhD, and they’ll usually focus on research, talk therapy, or both. Sometimes, in certain states in the United States, they’re able to prescribe medications, but only mental health medications, and it’s actually only after 80 hours of a pharmaceutical course. On the other hand, you have a psychiatrist, which is what I am. I’m an MD, so that means that I go through a long training, four years of undergrad, four years of medical school, then four more years of residency training that’s special for psychiatry. After all of that, I can be a psychiatrist, and I offer medications that I can prescribe.
Usually, people opt to see a psychiatrist because they’re curious about learning more about any options with medications to help them with their mental health.
Dr. Aimee: I don’t think there’s enough awareness about how medications can help fertility patients. A lot of times, people reach out far too late in their journey. That’s why I think this conversation is so important, so that patients know they can start seeing you from the very beginning if they’re feeling symptoms like depression or anxiety. They can see if, for example, prescription medication would be helpful from the beginning.
Dr. Stacia Mills: Absolutely.
Dr. Aimee: You just wrote an ebook, which I’m really excited to talk about. A Brief Guide to Mental Wellness While Family Planning. You discuss the stress of family planning. What are some of the most common mental health challenges people face during this time?
Dr. Stacia Mills: The most common mental health challenges that people face, at least as far as new diagnoses coming along, are things like depression and anxiety. Now, depression is where someone is feeling down or sad for two weeks or more, and then there will be symptoms that accompany it like disturbances in sleep and appetite, low energy, concentration problems, not feeling like anything is fun. Anxiety is a little different, though similar because you often will have disturbances in appetite and sleep, but you’ll be worrying excessively over things that you used to be able to keep in stride.
Dr. Aimee: That kind of sounds like a fertility journey right there.
Dr. Stacia Mills: That’s true.
Dr. Aimee: The highs and the lows, your fertility treatment is two weeks, you don’t know what’s going to happen, you’re sad, you don’t want to leave the house, you’re anxious, you’re always worrying. I feel like getting that in check is so important. The biggest risk factor for a fertility patient, I think, is depression and anxiety. Knowing that there are doctors like you out there to help with that, I think, is so important.
What advice do you have for individuals with preexisting mental health concerns who are trying to plan for pregnancy or undergoing fertility treatment?
Dr. Stacia Mills: This is a great question and I’m glad that you asked it. I know that you’re very big on planning for your fertility and I am super big on planning for your mental wellness. If you are somebody who knows that you have a mental illness or you find that you’re having symptoms that you’re not feeling so well before you’re actually going to become pregnant, the best thing is to get your support system in order.
That means two different kinds of support. It means your support system for your family, your friends, your social support. Then also your support system for your mental health, so any mental health professionals that are able to help you. With that, it’s important to know that there are medications that they can also help you with if you see a reproductive psychiatrist.
The other thing I want to remind everyone is that around the time that we often are looking to conceive or do family planning is the same time, interestingly, when we may start to show the first symptoms of depression, anxiety, or any mental illness. It actually is independent, it just happens to be about the same time that we tend to have babies.
Dr. Aimee: So, it’s basically around the age that people are starting their families or growing their families is around the same age where people are more prone to these kinds of mental health challenges?
Dr. Stacia Mills: A lot of mental health challenges are starting in your 20s, 30s, and even sometimes in your 40s.
Dr. Aimee: What about for patients who are already on medication, what do they need to know about continuing or starting psychiatric medications while trying to conceive or while they’re in fertility treatment, what advice do you have for them?
Dr. Stacia Mills: The first thing I’d like to tell people is that there’s no hard and fast rules. Well, a couple, but mostly no hard and fast rules for being pregnant or going through the fertility journey and psychiatric medications. It’s all case by case basis.
When we’re talking about case by case, I usually tell people that we’ll start and we’ll look at risks. The first thing is the risk of being on medications, to yourself and to the fetus, and to a newborn during lactation. Then also the risks of having an untreated mental health condition while you’re pregnant, while you’re trying to bond with your newborn, those sorts of things. If you have an untreated mental health condition, what can happen is it causes inflammation, which is harmful to you and it’s harmful to the fetus, and then you have a difficult time bonding with your newborn.
Dr. Aimee: That is all so true. I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but I find my patients who are on psychiatric medications sometimes wait too long to grow their family because they’re just so scared about stopping the medications, because they feel like they need to for some reason. I just want to tell anyone out there who is listening to this that you don’t need to be scared, you’ll get support from Stacia, from a fertility doctor like me. It’s really important to get educated about this so that you’re not making assumptions that are incorrect about the medications you’re taking and trying to conceive.
Dr. Stacia Mills: I really appreciate you saying that. Sometimes people will go to a doctor, and a doctor will actually be the one to tell them that they have to get off of all their medications. That’s just not the case. We want everyone to feel as well as possible, because things are going to be different and they’re going to be changing a lot, and you want to be feeling like your best self.
Dr. Aimee: I feel like when a doctor is saying that to their patient, they’re basically saying I don’t really want to help you in a way.
Dr. Stacia Mills: Yes.
Dr. Aimee: Managing stress and intense emotions during fertility treatment can be overwhelming. What are some strategies you recommend to help individuals cope with the often emotional roller coaster that accompanies these procedures?
Dr. Stacia Mills: I think the first thing that’s most important is to remember that this is going to be stressful and it often will be an emotional roller coaster, that the stigma is there and it’s very real. In our culture, we’re not embracing people who are soon-to-be parents talking about their fertility journeys. Then there’s all this pressure from family members at times. It’s difficult and it can make somebody feel isolated. I want to let everybody know that you’re not alone in this, there are people that are here for you.
I like to stress the importance of a social support system with people who are not going to be pressuring you. Your friends, family, anybody who you can find. Also, there are people who do peer support groups and they do support groups at mental health clinics. Also, make sure that you get a psychiatrist to help you out through this, too, because we’re here and this is what we do.
Dr. Aimee: Especially if you are experiencing depression and anxiety, you’re at higher risk for postpartum depression and anxiety. Finding a psychiatrist like you early in the journey, I think is really necessary so that person knows you well so that when you deliver and if you’re experiencing challenges, you’re already plugged in, you don’t have to start a new relationship with a psychiatrist at your time of need.
Your guide also emphasizes lifestyle changes for improved mental health and fertility. Can you highlight a few lifestyle recommendations that can support both things, emotional well-being and reproductive health?
Dr. Stacia Mills: Absolutely. I love talking about lifestyle changes and nutrition. Most important, I think, is to start with very simply a prenatal vitamin. I think that’s something that’s easy to forget because we all like to take our multivitamins, but really you want to start with a prenatal one because it’s going to give you extra nutrients that you’re going to need and that your fetus is going to need. That’s number one.
Then number two, I love talking about nutrition. Nutrition is really paramount. I usually like to have people start with nutrition by looking at what they’re currently eating. Being really honest with yourself, just sitting down by yourself in a quiet area, write down what you eat on an average day. Then really look at it and say to yourself, “Where can I make some tweaks,” if that’s something you’re interested in doing. Things like soda. I love to tell people soda is a real easy thing to knock out and make yourself so much healthier, replacing it with things like water. If you like flavor, though, then you can have flavored water. You can also have sparkling water, or sparkling flavored water if you want to get really fancy.
Also, with processed foods you want to try to replace those as much as possible with things like whole foods. I always joke that Whole Foods is not just a grocery store, it’s an actual edible item that’s entirely from nature. Things like vegetables, fruits, lean meats and fish, and whole grains. I like people to, as much as possible, try to put those into their diet. My favorite thing to say is that there’s no such thing as too many vegetables. I know we have a hard time eating vegetables, it’s not the easiest thing to always do, but it’s really good for you.
I like to highlight doing exercise. The thing with exercise that I’ve found is that the hardest part is sticking with it. What I like to tell people is to do something that you like. If you don’t like the gym, then don’t get a membership because you’ll just waste your money. If you like to dance, then take a dance class, or go out with your friends but skip the alcohol to keep yourself as healthy as possible. If you have a dog or a pet that you like to walk outside, then walk briskly or walk further than usual.
The last thing is sleep. That is one of the most overlooked lifestyle recommendations. The interesting thing about sleep, a lot of people don’t know that not only is it good for your mental health, it’s also good for your fertility if you’re getting consistent regular sleep.
Dr. Aimee: Yes. Hydration, nutrition, all of that is so important. I’m glad that you bring that up because not many doctors do when they’re talking to their patients. It’s good that you’re reinforcing the same things that I think can help with fertility also. That’s huge.
I want to talk a little bit about how your work is also inclusive of all family planning journeys, all of them. Can you tell us a little bit more about that?
Dr. Stacia Mills: For sure. I like to just tell people that I am completely open, I’m not here to judge you with what you’ve been going through. I know it’s very easy to find people who are judging about mental health because the stigma is such a problem. Like we just said, the stigma is such a problem with fertility treatments. I also want people to know that I sit here to help, I don’t sit here to be judgey.
It’s actually one of the reasons I got into working with people who are in their reproductive journey, because I think there’s so much pressure on people to have children, to the point that they’re supposed to sacrifice everything of themselves about it and not take care of themselves first. The flight attendants have it right. If there’s a drop in cabin pressure, you put on your own mask first and then you help other people. If you’re going to show up for your family, you have to show up for yourself first. I just want to help people reach that goal to live their best life.
Dr. Aimee: That was very well said. That was great. If someone would like to work with you and find your practice, how do they find you and how do you work with patients?
Dr. Stacia Mills: I see adults in California, and I can be found many ways. My website is Freedom-Psychiatry.com. Also, StaciaMills.com will also come up. On my website, I have a contact form, if you want to contact me through there. I have my phone number listed if you prefer the phone. In addition, all of your patients can email me directly if they would like, DrMills@freedom-psychiatry.com. I do have nutrition classes and lifestyle classes that I’m offering that are self-paced that they can buy from anywhere.
I just want to let people know that if you’re looking for a psychiatrist to help you with your medication management, make sure that they offer a time where you can go and ask them questions before you pay the full fee to do an initial consultation. I do offer that myself. You can go to my website and click on the Book Appointment button to schedule one, and you’ll be able to talk with me for free for 15 minutes so we can see if we click well. I think it’s very important to ask questions so that you feel comfortable with the person. If you’re not comfortable, then you can’t tell them what’s going on and then they can’t help you.
Dr. Aimee: I’d like to talk a little bit about your ebook, A Brief Guide to Mental Wellness While Family Planning. Where can they get your ebook?
Dr. Stacia Mills: My ebook is listed on Amazon for $9.99. The easiest way to find it is to search for my name, Stacia Mills, and it will come right up. But for a limited time, all of your patients and listeners are able to get it for free on my website.
Dr. Aimee: Oh. Thank you.
Dr. Stacia Mills: Absolutely. I’m excited to have people come to my website, see what’s there, just explore and get comfortable with the idea of mental wellness. I want them to go to my website, Freedom-Psychiatry.com, and then at the top of the homepage there will be a link where they just provide their email and it will download the PDF for them. It’s all in color, just beautiful.
Dr. Aimee: That’s great. Thank you for working so hard on that and for providing that to my patients. That’s fantastic. Stacia, thank you so much for talking to us today about the importance of mental health and well-being for my patients and for everybody. Is there anything else you would like to add today?
Dr. Stacia Mills: I really want to encourage everyone, especially if you’re on your fertility journey, to prioritize your mental wellness. This is a new idea in our culture to prioritize mental wellness, but I really want people to think about it and to do so. If you want to be your best self for you and your family, you have to be your best whole self, mental, physical, reproductive wellness. Remember that you are worth the effort, the time, and the cost to have yourself feel well and live your best life. As I like to say, mental health is freedom.
Dr. Aimee: It really is, though. Mental health is freedom. Freedom is knowing the path forward. Having you there to help people is tremendous. Thank you, Stacia.
