Before we get into London’s story, let me share a bit about Kristin.
Kristin McQuaid is a choreographer, dancer, designer, creative director, director and producer. You may know her work from So You Think You Can Dance and Dance Moms where her choreography has gone viral.
She now stars in her own reality show, Kickin’ It with Kristin, which launched on YouTube Fall of 2021. Kristin and her husband Steve started a nonprofit organization in honor of their daughter London Quinn who was stillborn at 39 weeks in July 2021. London is the Reason focuses on supporting surrogates and their intended parents through infant loss.
Dr. Aimee: I can only imagine how hard it must be to talk about this, but I can only say thank you. Thank you, Kristin, for being here with us. Thank you for joining me to talk about your journey and to share London’s story.
Dr. Aimee: Can you share about your journey? We know that endometriosis was involved. Talk to us about your fertility journey.
Kristin McQuaid: Of course. Fertility has always been an issue for me. I wanted to have a big family, so we wanted to start early trying to have kids. You think “everyone around me is having 500 kids, this is not going to be a problem.” We continued to try, it had been a couple of years, still not giving up hope, we know it’s going to happen. Then I dwell into some issues as far as my health goes, and I’m diagnosed with stage four endometriosis. I am a big fan of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. I know, but Khloe had endometriosis, so I thought if she can have kids and have endometriosis, so can I. Because it’s really good to compare yourself to a Kardashian, right?
I still had this positive outlook on my fertility journey, and it wasn’t going to stop us. I had my first surgery to clean everything out. The doctor says, “Kristin, this is your chance. If you’re going to get pregnant, now everything is cleaned out, it’s going to happen.” It did. It happened, but it ended in a miscarriage at 6 weeks.
The endometriosis came back. It came back two more times, and it led to two more surgeries. It got so bad to the point where the doctor said to me, “We can continue to do this, we can continue to clean out the endometriosis and you can continue to have miscarriages,” I had two or three more miscarriages after the first, “or we can just go with a hysterectomy.” That word is not what you want to hear when you have envisioned your family to be the perfect family with all of the kids and no problems getting pregnant.
I thought my journey as a mom had ended in that moment. I felt very lost, very confused, but there are so many outlets for endometriosis and for continuing to further being a mother and a parent. Surrogacy came about, and I knew nothing about surrogacy. I had thought it was just in the movies. I had no idea, so I started Googling.
To find out that the community of surrogacy is huge and it really is becoming such a strong force in society, which is such a beautiful thing because people like myself that could never have the option of being a mother can now, and feel those excitements of seeing the ultrasound pictures, and hearing your surrogate say, “I felt the kicks today, I felt the flutters. I was throwing up this morning.” It makes you feel like you’re a part of the journey.
That is why I chose to do surrogacy first before adoption. I knew I always wanted to adopt, ever since I was a little girl, but I knew I wanted to feel part of being pregnant. The closest way for me to do that was through surrogacy.
We met up with a beautiful agency, Shared Conception. We met a beautiful surrogate and her family. She is a young, thriving hairdresser, she has two wonderful kids of her own. Cute little family, and they wanted to help someone like myself that can’t have children.
We went through the whole process. You guys, it was beautiful. It was everything I could have imagined. I got to feel like I was carrying the child. To me, that was the most special, I feel like. Although I had no physical connection with London, I felt very much a part of it.
We were going to the 39-week planned C-section, and this was a C-section because my surrogate had two C-sections with her previous children. We knew the date, we had everything, we had the stroller, our house looked like Disneyland for a million babies. You watch so many videos and they’re like, “My baby loved this,” and then the next video is like, “No, don’t get that. Get this.” You’re thinking, “Wait. What do I need?” So, I just bought everything thinking London is going to love something of what I got.
We are so prepared. My parents are flying into Dallas. We get there, we have a dinner organized with the surrogate and her family. We gave them just so many gifts. As an intended parent, you can’t give thanks enough. The word thank you is not enough. Gifts are not enough. The finances that they are getting for being a surrogate is not enough for them to give you the gift of life.
We couldn’t be more excited. We go to bed. I had all of those really cheesy shirts made, Grandma, Grandpa, Mom, Dad. We were ready.
It is the day of, July 14, 2021. I wake up at 4:30 in the morning. We have to be at the hospital at 5:30. I wake up before my alarm, and I immediately text my surrogate, “Have they hooked London up to the heart monitor yet?” Now, listen, I have never once in the full 39 weeks ever asked one question of health concern, because we had a textbook pregnancy. We never went to the doctor and had them say, “Well, there might be something wrong.” There was no concern.
This was very much a motherly instinct of a child that is not inside of me, but I feel so connected with that I felt that there was something wrong. I didn’t tell my husband. I thought, “Kristin, this is the devil trying to come in and steal your joy that you have been waiting 14 years for, that you’ve had numerous surgeries for, numerous letdowns and miscarriages. This is your moment. Do not let the devil steal it. You’re just crazy.”
She says, “Nope, they haven’t hooked her up yet. They’re just doing the COVID test and all these kinds of things.” I said, “Great. Can you let me know when they do?” I go into the bathroom, I hold this cold washcloth over my face, and I’m thinking, “This is not right. Something is not right.” I’m still thinking about that.
My husband says, “Are we wearing our Mom and Dad shirts to the hospital?” I said, “I don’t think so.” He said, “Why did you get them then?” I’m trying to think of a reason to not tell him that I’m feeling this weird feeling. I said, “What if we put them on after London is born? That way we don’t get all messy when they do skin-to-skin.” He’s like, “Okay…” He talked me into wearing them. There we are, we’re all walking in with the cheesy shirts.
I still have not heard from the surrogate at this point. We were very close to the hospital where we were staying in the hotel. I ring the bell, “Hi. We’re here. Our daughter is being born today. We’re the intended parents, our surrogate is back there.” She told us the room number. They said, “Okay, great. Have a seat in the lobby. She’s with the doctor right now.” Immediately, I felt nothing in my body. I felt so numb, I didn’t even know what to think.
I looked at Steve, my husband, and I said, “I need you to text the surrogate’s dad.” He said, “Kristin, she’s with the doctor. Just let them do their work.” My husband is a cardiologist, so he knows “the doctor.” They’re busy, leave them be. So, I had to do a little bit of an eye roll there. I looked at him and said, “Text him right now.” He was like, “Kristin is serious. I’ve never seen her look like this.”
At that point, they called us back, “Kristin and Steve, we’re ready for you.” I know, in my heart I just know that there is something wrong. I still have not heard anything. They walk us back and walk us into a room in a dark hallway. I’m like, “See? I knew.” They sit us down and say, “The doctor will be right in with you.” I’m like we’re supposed to be in the room with our surrogate right now, we’re not supposed to be in this weird testing room.
The doctor walks in and she is shaking her head, she’s with two nurses, and she says, “It’s not good. London doesn’t have a heartbeat.” Immediately, I just dropped my head. I couldn’t even cry at that moment because God had already prepared me for what was to come. I already knew that there was something wrong. My husband, on the other hand, was screaming, crying, falling to the floor. What is happening? I eventually then did pass out, as you can imagine of anyone that just lost a perfectly healthy child.
My first thought was, “I’m ready to go home. Take me home. I just want to leave.” Then I thought, wait a minute, my surrogate still has to deliver this baby, they still have to do the C-section. I thought, “Kristin, you need to be strong for her. You need to be there for her, because if that was you in that situation, where would you want to be?” So, we stayed, and we made sure that she got out of the operation room as safely as possible.
I had a nurse come up to me, I’ll never forget it. I was outside with my family sitting by the fountains. She said, “Kristin, we have London all dressed and ready. She is so perfect and so beautiful.” At that moment, I wanted to punch her because if she was perfect, she would be breathing, she would be alive. I knew she was beautiful. Any baby that is born on this Earth is beautiful. Now I understand what she is saying, she’s perfect, I get it now that I have had time to grieve.
I did not want to go in and hold her. I thought no, that’s going to make things a million times worse. I’ve heard that where I’ve had a couple of friends say it is the most traumatic thing, but all of the doctors and all of the nurses will tell you if you want to grieve, you need to go in and hold your child. That just kept replaying in my head. Steve was like, “I’m going to go in. You can do what you need to. If you want to stay out here, I fully respect that. You stay here and do that.” I could hear this whisper in my ear, “Go. Kristin, stand up and go.” So, I did.
The second I walked in the room, it was this beam of light. I immediately stopped crying. I just got chills right now. The feeling that I had was so surreal and so strong, it was in that moment that I realized that London’s purpose on Earth was a lot more powerful. She didn’t need to live in this world without telling me what she needed me to continue to do. I looked at her and I said, “You have a purpose, and you want me to keep this going. I can feel it.” Still in this moment, I’m like, “What is the purpose? I want you in my life. What is the purpose? I want you to be here.”
We leave empty-handed. We left with nothing. Not an ounce of information. Not a book. Not a resource. Nothing. It’s almost as though, “Goodbye. Go back to your normal life, as we all will, too.” That was so hard for me because I was already feeling so lost and so confused and so hurt, like I didn’t even want to be there anymore.
Then when I started Googling, I couldn’t find anything about intended parents that have lost a child, support, grieving, what can you do. I would buy all of these books about infant loss, when you lose your child, stillbirths. I would have to skip 96 pages of the book because it had nothing to do with me. It almost made me feel worse because I already knew I couldn’t carry a child, and then it’s like, “Your body will feel this.” Well, no, my body is not feeling that because I never carried my child. I was like “there has to be something. This is 2022, there has to be something for surrogates and intended parents.”
Dr. Aimee: There has to be, absolutely.
Kristin McQuaid: I called every doctor, nurse, everything. They said there’s nothing. There’s no support out there for surrogates and intended parents that have lost a child.
Dr. Aimee: How did you start London is the Reason, and what kind of work are you now doing to change that?
Kristin McQuaid: I knew that purpose, that feeling was there, so I got home, and I was going through my closet, and there was this sweatshirt right now – it’s a black sweatshirt and it says London is the Reason. I had bought this sweatshirt when London was four or five months in the womb. I wanted a sweatshirt that just said London on it. I didn’t want a cheesy one like with the flag and the bridge. I wanted it to be cool. I went to Etsy, which I love, and I was looking for a London sweatshirt, there has to be something. This sweatshirt came up, and I was like I don’t know what that means, but I like the font and it’s kind of cool, so I’m just going to get it.
I thought, “Kristin, people are going to ask you what is London is the Reason?” I was already prepared to answer, “London is the reason I’m a mom. London is the reason I look so tired right now because she kept me up for 18 hours last night.” I was so prepared. I was going through these scenarios in my head of people asking me.
When we got home from the hospital and I was looking for a sweatshirt, I came across this sweatshirt. I immediately fell to the floor and thought, “Oh my gosh. London is the reason that I am going to continue her life and celebrate her and pass along her story to help others that are going through the same thing, because there are other intended parents and surrogates that are facing infant loss every single day, and they are leaving the hospital just like I was with nowhere to turn. London is the reason that now we can have an outlet for those surrogates and for those intended parents.”
Because of London, because of her story, because of her selfless act of not even having to live on this Earth, I can leave here a little bit less lost, a little bit less of hurt and pain, because I know others are out there that have experienced this same situation and I’m not alone. In that situation when I left, I thought I was the only person on the face of this Earth that this has happened to. Why me? There’s a billion people on this Earth, and I was chosen to have my daughter taken away from me. It made no sense to me at all.
I chose, in that moment, when I saw this sweatshirt. I messaged the person that made the sweatshirt, and I was like, “You have no idea that you are changing the world from this sweatshirt.” The guy that made the sweatshirt was like, “Wow. I am in tears right now listening to what you just told me.” I was like, “You have no idea.”
I chose to celebrate London in that way. That’s how I grieved. That’s how I got through my day. In fact, London is the Reason, the nonprofit organization and the website, was created two weeks after London passed. I had bought the name, I had created the website. I was so driven in that moment, and I knew emotionally what I would have wanted when I left the hospital. I know that I would have felt a little bit more comforted, and that is what I wanted to have out of my heart and my soul immediately onto paper.
Dr. Aimee: What was that, what were those things that you wish you had at that moment and that you want other people to have?
Kristin McQuaid: The first is a letter, a letter from someone that has been through it. You can talk to a million therapists, you can read a book, you can go online, but when you hear it from someone that has been through it and knows your pain, there is nothing more healing than that. I have structured a letter for every surrogate and every intended parent. It took me almost a year to complete this letter because I wanted it to be so specific and helpful, yet honoring their lost child. The first thing in my healing box that I give to anyone that reaches out to me that is going through something like this is a letter from me.
I also have a bracelet that says, “Be the reason.” I wanted it to say London is the reason, obviously because of selfish reasons, and I love my daughter’s name London. Then I thought not everyone’s child is named London, so I thought if I can give someone that is hurting a bracelet, something tangible to wear to honor their child, but to also be the reason that they’ll be there to help someone else.
Just like London has changed my life, someone that is going through it right now, you don’t realize it right now, but you will help someone else along the way. Even if it’s not help, you’re an inspiration. Just the fact that you are waking up every single day, getting dressed, and brushing your teeth, that’s a start.
I dug for books, material, and resources that could be a help that weren’t necessarily about infant loss. A lot of them are self-love. I just felt horrible, I felt like I was worthless in that moment. Should I have called the doctor? Should I have checked her heartbeat earlier? You’ll go through all those millions of questions, and it’s usually all self-blame. Guess what? There is nothing you could do. You did nothing wrong. I did nothing wrong. This is just part of life.
The fact that I can say that now, knowing where I was, people are probably listening to me thinking, “This girl, she just lost her child not even a year ago and she can speak like this?” This is not how it was in the very beginning. I was in a coma when I first got home for four days. My husband was pouring Gatorade down my throat. Mother’s Day this year was a wreck for me. I was not prepared. I thought I was going to be celebrating. No.
The reason why, and we’ll get to this a little bit later, is because I adopted a little baby girl in January. I want everybody to think about this. London is the reason. London is the reason that I adopted this little baby girl, and she is the reason that I can provide a beautiful life for her. I would not have met her if it weren’t for London.
The name London is the Reason is so powerful in so many ways. When you get that bracelet, “Be the reason,” it means that you can connect in so many ways. You just have to know that you were chosen because you’re a lot stronger than you think you are. If you could have asked me two years ago, “Kristin, just so you know, this is what you’re going to go through,” I would have said not me, don’t pick me, I am way too emotional, I can’t do this.
London is the reason I’m a better mom right now. London is the reason I’m a better wife to my husband. London is the reason that I can look at situations now in a much different light and celebrate the worst, celebrate the best, because life is so precious. I learned that holding London for the five hours that I got to hold her before I had to send her away. I would give anything to have that moment back. I didn’t want to let her go. But when I let her go, I knew it was just the beginning of something so beautiful.
Dr. Aimee: It’s hard to hold back the tears listening to your story because it’s so powerful. I can only imagine how you were affected, but also your fertility doctor who had been there with you the whole time, had done the transfer to the surrogate. I imagine that you’ve touched all of their lives in such an amazing profound way, my life, and everyone who is hearing your story, so that they can be the reason.
Kristin McQuaid: Everyone knows I’m a dancer, so, creative life. Everything I do has been creative, except for I’m terrible at painting, writing. Draw a stick figure? No. Forget about it. I’m horrible. But something in me, it’s so interesting how people can come into your life like London did and bring out the most beautiful things. I went to Hobby Lobby, I think I was the number one customer at Hobby Lobby for four months after London had passed, because it was the only thing that really was my outlet. What can I create today?
I wanted to thank every single nurse and every single doctor that had touched London. I sent (I think it was) 12 letters to the head nurse at the hospital. One of them called and said, “Kristin, we love our job because we get to bring life into this world every day, but then there are days like your day where it’s the most traumatic day, and we will never forget that day.” It’s people that leave in a positive situation that have healthy babies that don’t think about their doctors and nurses and say, “Thank you for bringing this amazing human into our life,” but it’s those that hurt that say, “Thank you for bringing this beautiful soul and now my guardian angel into this world.”
I just am so thankful, like you said, to the IVF doctor. They couldn’t believe it. They were like, “Wait. London didn’t make it?” No. I was just in shock as much as you were. I still to this day talk to the doctor that delivered London, I will send her pictures of Bexley.
Tragedy sometimes can make the most beautiful destinations. We speak of London as though she is here. She is hanging all over our house, pictures galore, butterflies as her spirit animal. We have butterflies all over. We talk to Bexley about London as though she is right here with us. We will celebrate her birthday. I had an Easter basket for her sitting right next to Bexley’s. She’s a part of our family, although she is not here.
That’s the most important part for everyone to realize is if your child is not here on Earth, that does not mean that they’re gone. You need to celebrate their life as though they’re here, because they’re there watching you, they want to celebrate right there with you.
Although it’s very hard to get through those tough times. It could last a couple of months of treacherous pain where you can’t even do anything, or years. I’ve talked to some people where they said, “It’s been five years, and I’m having a hard time even getting up.” Grief is a very interesting thing. If you look at it as a celebration of your child, it becomes a lot less painful.
Dr. Aimee: You’ve taken your message and what I understand is you’ve sent out information to over 200 agencies about supporting intended parents and surrogates. What did you share with them?
Kristin McQuaid: When I had called about information on supporting surrogates and intended parents, no agency could give me any information. They said, “We’re kind of in the same boat as you, we don’t really know what to tell our surrogates and intended parents that have lost a child, where to go or what to do.”
I wrote a letter, of course. Remember how I said I’m not good at writing? I write so many letters now. Let me just tell you, I’m showing the viewers that are watching, I wrote a book, too. We’ll get to this. Kristin wrote a book? I didn’t even like school, so trust me, this is very beyond. London has brought out some very crazy things.
I wrote a letter saying, “This is my situation, I just went through a stillbirth, I am an intended parent. I have searched hours and hours for support. I respect what you are doing as a surrogacy agency, the fact that you are giving situations and options to people that can have a child now. Science and society has moved so fast, it has not allowed us to have the support and the resources to catch up with it.”
I wanted to be the reason that that support can reach that level of where science and society is. You cannot tell me that surrogacy is not… Everyone is talking about it. I’m watching YouTube videos of my favorite YouTubers, celebrities, this and that, everyone is doing surrogacy. There are so many different options. You might be an actress and you don’t want to get pregnant. Great. But most of us, we can’t have children, and surrogacy is our only way to turn to besides adoption, which is also just so fabulous.
I said to them, “Here’s your outlet. Here you go, this is something now that you can turn to.” I also attached flyers. I said to them, “I hope you never, ever have to use this flyer. I hope I wasted so much money printing these out.”
The amount of people that reached out to me after those letters is overwhelming. “Kristin, we have been waiting for something like this to come along. We don’t have this. We just went to Seeds Convention for Surrogacy. You need to be there. You need to be speaking your voice and your story, and to say we have an option now to help those that are hurting.” Not hurting tomorrow, but yesterday, a year ago, five years ago, because grief doesn’t go away. I will face this for the rest of my life. I will have great days and I will have bad days. That’s just the nature of grieving and losing something.
I feel like it makes me smile every time I get an email or a call or a letter back from a surrogacy agency, “Kristin, can we talk to you right now?” Well, I’m currently changing a diaper, but right after that, I would love to talk to you. You can imagine it was a lot of work, but every envelope, and I licked every single one of them. I don’t know if that’s good to say when COVID is rampant, but I’m fine, I’m healthy. Every time I licked an envelope, and every time I put a stamp on, I just got more chills every time. I was like, yes, London. Every time, I put her stamp on everything.
Dr. Aimee: What do you wish people knew more about when it comes to the whole process of finding a surrogate, now that you’ve gone through this experience yourself? What do you wish you had known maybe in the beginning that you now know that could have potentially prepared you for anything that could have happened during the pregnancy?
Kristin McQuaid: You will know when you talk to your surrogate options as an intended parent, you will know the right one. You know when people tell you, “You’ll know when he’s the one,” or, “You’ll know when she’s the one.” My friends are telling me that and I’m like you guys are crazy. How am I just going to know? But then, don’t you know? You meet that person and you’re like, “Wait a minute. I think this is going to be my husband.” So, you know.
You’re going into a relationship with these people and they are carrying your child, they are growing your child and they are giving you the best gift of your entire life. So, you’ll know. Don’t overthink it. Don’t say, “Should I have picked A over B?” No. The situation that you are presented with is going to be the correct one.
If there is something that I wish I would have known, this is hard because I want to say I wish I didn’t get as close to my surrogate, but in the same sentence, I’m so glad that I did. It’s so hard because I feel like my surrogate when I lost London, in a selfish way as an intended parent, I got to be with London more. I got five hours when London wasn’t breathing, but my surrogate got nine months of kicking, hiccupping, and everything. It almost makes you feel a little jealous.
So, it’s hard. It’s almost like you have to protect your heart. But I don’t want everyone to go into it with fear, because it’s also such a beautiful relationship. Most of the time, it’s a beautiful ending. But when it’s not, it becomes a little different. Then you thought, “I should have protected my heart. I should have guarded my heart. I should not have been so eager to know every detail about London and so eager to be a part of this, because now it’s not there.” At the same time, I don’t know if I would ever take it back.
One of my friends said to me it’s like a situation where you wish it didn’t happen, but at the same time, you wouldn’t trade what happened. Gosh. Kristin, how are you saying you wouldn’t trade that London didn’t go to heaven? Because I do wish I could be holding London right now while I’m doing this interview with her. I really do. I want to hear her laugh. I want to see her smile. She would be at the cutest age right now, eating all of the solid foods and making a mess everywhere. But I also wouldn’t be here to change the world.
Let me correct that.
Dr. Aimee: No. You are changing the world. I wouldn’t correct it.
Kristin McQuaid: London is changing the world. I am being her messenger.
I actually had a meeting with a surrogate that just went through a loss very similar to mine, very far into the journey. She was the surrogate. Very different emotions.
That’s what is also so hard about intended parents and surrogates – we face very different grieving emotions and levels. It’s not the same. It’s very different. And different if you had a natural birth where it’s your own child and you naturally conceived. Every one of those is so different.
She messaged me the next day and said, “Kristin, that is exactly what I needed to hear. I have talked to so many therapists and so many people that thought this is what I need.” All I did was just listen and I told her my story. That’s all she needed.
I told my husband, “I just got the best email of my entire life.” He said, “What is it?” I said, “She feels better. She doesn’t feel like it’s her fault. She doesn’t feel like she’s beating herself up. London is the reason. She’s the reason that girl can live her life a little better.”
If I can help one person… and I already did. If I can help even a handful of people, that’s all I want. That is all I want.
Now, you’re speaking to Kristin who has the biggest personality and I think I can conquer every hobby known to man, which I can’t, I really just should stick to dance. I wish I could change everybody. Everyone that has lost a child, and God forbid, anyone that is going to go through what I did, I wish I could hold their hand and say, “It seems like the worst day of your life, but let me just tell you it is just the beginning of the most beautiful journey that you are going to have, and you have somebody watching over you every single day.”
I wake up and I feel so blessed to say, “Hey, you’re up there. How are you doing? Thanks for watching me.”
Dr. Aimee: For, let’s say, intended parents who have learned the devastating news about a surrogate stillbirth, how can they reach out to you and get support? What is the best way?
Kristin McQuaid: On my website LondonIsTheReason.org, there is a ‘Need Support’ column up at the top, and it says Connect with Kristin. You can go to my calendar, pick a date that works for you, and we communicate, we connect, and we talk.
When I was writing the little column on there that says, “First off, I’m not happy that you’re here. I did not want to meet you like this. However, you’re here, so let’s be friends.” I also wrote, “If you schedule a time, and you get to that day and it’s the minute before you’re supposed to have this, and you feel like you can’t do this, you feel like emotionally I can’t get there, guess what? You’re talking to somebody that understands. If you need to cancel, reschedule, come back in a year, I’ll still be here. I’m not young, but I’m not old, so I’ll be here. You let me know when.”
I liked that because you know sometimes when you book a flight and you’re like I have to be there whether I’m having a good day or a bad day, I have to be there if I want to get from A to B. With connecting with something like this, you have to be prepared, you have to be mentally ready to talk, to listen. It feels like you’re running a marathon.
I remember after London had passed and people were asking me about the story. Every time I talked about it, I had to take a three-day nap. Even though you might not be crying, the emotion that your body is pouring out is so exhausting. Not only is London allowing me to change lives, she’s also allowing me to not go to the gym, which is fantastic because I am exuding so much energy every day by talking to people that it’s like exercise.
Dr. Aimee: What about for people who are reading and they’re just so inspired and in awe of you, and just want to support London is the Reason, what can we do to help?
Kristin McQuaid: First off, I would love any support that we can get. The healing boxes that I provide for surrogates and intended parents, most of them will be delivered to hospitals, as many as I can reach out to, that will already be there for the intended parent or the surrogate to be delivered at their hospital room. Those are not cheap, nor do I want them to be. You just lost your child, you deserve everything.
If you can donate any amount of money, on LondonIsTheReason.org there are donate buttons all over. I think I put it in five or six places, because you always want to know where it is. I needed it to be convenient for everyone. You can go on there, it can be a monthly donation where every month it draws out a certain amount, or it can be a one-time donation. No amount is too little. Every single dollar is going to help someone. That’s so powerful. You think, “I’m giving $5.” Well, $5 for somebody is going to change a lot. Anything that you guys can do.
Also, if you want to donate your time to help. If you are an intended parent or a surrogate that has gone through this and you want to be a part of the foundation and the motivation of supporting surrogates and intended parents in the future, please reach out to me. The more that we have on our team, the better. I just feel like let’s make this a community. What a crazy thing, we want to make this a community. It’s a sad community, but also we shouldn’t make it sad, let’s make it powerful. Donating your time is exactly what we need.
You guys can go on, I have a picture of London on the website, you can go see how beautiful London is. She is a superstar, she’s a queen, I love her so much. You guys can go on and read about her on the website as well, even a little bit more than what I’ve told you. There’s also pictures of the healing boxes on the website.
My book, I’m going to do a selfless promo here. This book. If you are a parent or you know someone that has lost a child and they have a sibling, or you have a sibling, and you do not know how to explain infant loss to your child, you need this book. This book is narrated by my dog Gunner who is a Scottish Terrier, and it talks about how his mommy’s belly is broken. It’s me and Steve in here, I’ll show you. There’s me and Steve. Gunner is so excited to get his baby sister. He learns about the surrogate, how she has an empty belly and my mom is going to borrow it to grow her baby.
He sits by the door for hours and hours, and then we walk in empty-handed. At first, he thinks, “What is going on? This can’t be right.” Then he learns about her energy and her spirit, and that she’s still there although she’s not there, and he sees white butterflies.
I want to read you guys this last little part. I don’t want to spoil the whole book.
I sat on the couch and licked their tears. I was so sad. We had waited all these years. Days turned to nights, and I started to lose track. Then all of a sudden, I felt something on my back. It wasn’t an ant. It wasn’t a fly. It was the most beautiful white butterfly. My mommy taught me all about heaven. She said, “Your sister is there. Can you feel her presence in the air?” Could that butterfly have been a sign sent down from heaven? I closed my eyes and I talked to my sister, I said, “If you can hear me, give me a whisper.” I squeezed my eyes even tighter, hoping she could hear me, and you wouldn’t believe what was near me. White butterflies filled the sky as if she was nearby. “I miss you, Sissy, but one day you’ll see, we’ll be together, and you can finally meet me.”
This was not meant to be a book. Remember, Kristin and writing? No. I was just writing. All of my friends and family were like this should be a book, a children’s book to teach them about how losing a child, losing their brother or their sister, it’s going to be okay. I was like, “You’re crazy. I’ve never written a book before.”
Well, I’m happy to say that this is published on Amazon, An Angel Gave Us Our Angel, and you guys should go get it. The best part about this book is that every penny that is earned by you guys buying this book goes back to London is the Reason.
I know I’m going to be a New York bestseller, so I know there’s going to be millions rolling in from this book, which is all going to go into London is the Reason. I think if I speak it, I’m really manifesting it. The more I say it, the more that I feel like it’s really going to happen. Go check out my book, you guys. Let me know. Email me and let me know if you got it and how you like it.
Dr. Aimee: Kristin, thank you for being on The Egg Whisperer Show. Thank you for being such an amazing person and sharing your love for London with us. We all love London, too. Is there anything else that you would like to add before we sign off today?
Kristin McQuaid: I just want everyone to know that you’re not alone, number one. Number two, your baby doesn’t need to be here on Earth for you to celebrate their purpose in life. I know it’s hard to hold those tears. I know.
Dr. Aimee: Thank you, Kristin, for everything.
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