Planning your fertility future is just like planning a dream vacation—you don’t need to be a fertility specialist to do it, and you don’t need a science background either. The key is to start with one simple fact: you’re not a bunny. Yes, you heard me right! Unlike bunnies, who ovulate with every act of intercourse, humans ovulate just one egg a month. And not every egg is a healthy one. In our 20s, the chance of an egg being genetically viable is about 15%, and that number decreases with age. That’s why understanding your ovulation and fertility health early on can help you plan for the future and avoid unnecessary struggles down the road.
Just like planning a trip to the Maldives, fertility planning requires you to ask three important questions: What do I want? What is it going to take to get what I want? Am I willing to do it? Whether your goal is to have one child or more, being proactive about your health, understanding your fertility levels, and taking action now can make all the difference. Fertility treatment is essentially about rescuing eggs from being lost forever, and that makes me, your friendly fertility doctor, an egg rescuer! If you’re thinking about your fertility future, start today by taking small steps that can lead to the family of your dreams.
In this episode, we cover:
- Why you’re not a bunny and what that means for your fertility
- The 3 essential rules for planning your fertility future
- How egg freezing works and why it’s like IVF without the “F”
- The importance of preconception health and genetic screening
- How to take proactive steps to ensure a healthy pregnancy
Resources:
Sign up for Dr. Aimee’s IVF Class
Get Dr. Aimee’s fertility supplement recommendations
Full Transcript:
Your Fertility Future: Understanding Human Ovulation
At most, we ovulate one egg a month, and that egg that gets ovulated may not necessarily be a healthy egg. The chance that an egg is actually healthy is only about 15% at best, and that’s when we’re in our 20s. As we get older, the chance that an egg is genetically viable goes down. Women have a finite number of eggs and, unfortunately, there are so many women out there, and I’m trying to educate everybody that are ready to have kids at a time when their eggs are not as healthy.
If you realize when you’re planning your fertility future that, number one, you’re not a bunny, and number two, each ovulation has at best a 15% chance of turning into a pregnancy, and that getting pregnant can take six months for up to 85% of people, and sometimes over a year for about one in eight.
Not only that, when you’re planning your future, know that about 20% – some studies say closer to 25%, maybe even 30% – of all human pregnancies actually end really early. Sometimes so early that people don’t even know they’re pregnant, but a lot of times in the first trimester. It’s not because you did anything wrong or did anything to deserve the abnormal pregnancy, but it’s just part of the human experience.
When you’re considering an egg freeze, which is IVF without the F (fertilization), you’re actually rescuing eggs from being lost. What does that basically make me? You think I’m a fertility doctor, but I’m actually an egg rescuer. I’m saving eggs from being lost. That’s what fertility treatment is.
Fertility treatment is rescuing eggs from being lost and you can never get them back again. Fertility treatment isn’t about helping people run out of eggs too soon or going into menopause early, that’s not what it’s about. As an egg rescuer, I want people to know what their levels are, what their fertility chances are at the age that they’re at.
This is how you basically plan your fertility future… If you know how to plan a vacation, this is something that everyone can do.
Planning Your Fertility Future is Like Planning a Vacation
I found this picture and I said this place is gorgeous, where is it? This is the Maldives. I pulled this picture out and I said, “that is so pretty!” When you’re looking at this beautiful scenery, the first thing I ask myself is what do I want, and I want to go there. The next thing is what is it going to take to get what I want? I want to go there, so what is it going to take?
Answer: Probably about 30 hours.
That’s probably really expensive, too, maybe. So, 30 hours, saving some money, and lots of planning.
The majority of Americans actually do that, they plan trips, they plan vacations. They plan them not just months in advance, but they plan them years in advance. Pregnancy is the most important trip of your life. Maybe I’m a little bit biased, but I really think it is.
If you take time in the very beginning of your relationship or in your early 20s to plan your fertility future, you hopefully will have a little bit less of a struggle. If I can save one person from that struggle, then I’ve done my job tonight.
Three ‘Rules’ for Fertility Planning
I just went through the three things, and these are the three things that I basically live my life by, the three rules.
What do I want?
What is it going to take to get what I want?
Am I willing to do it?
When it comes to fertility you can do just that. Be honest, realize that these things are going to change, and be concrete.
I am 41 years old. Let’s just say I want a pregnancy. So, I want to be pregnant. What is it going to take to get what I want? Let’s be concrete here. At 41, the chance that an egg is going to be genetically viable is around 10%. It might take fertility treatment. It might take lots of doctor visits. If I’m willing to do what it takes, then I’m going to move forward with doing just that.
Let’s say I change what I want to I want two children. Then perhaps at 41, because we know in two or three years at 42 or 43 that it’s going to actually be much harder to get pregnant. You want to realize that if you start with number one and be really honest with yourself, and then write down exactly what it’s going to take, and then go do just that.
Your Fertility Future is Worth Planning
Back to my beach picture. You’re at the beach. What do people do before they go to Hawaii? This isn’t me, but I have friends, and this is what they do. They show up and I say to them, “Did you just get back from your trip?” and they say, “No, I’m getting ready for my trip.” What do you mean you’re getting ready? “Well, I’ve been going to the gym every day. I’ve been self-tanning three times a week and I have this new vegan diet that I’m following.”
Shouldn’t we be doing that as well when it comes to pregnancy? Not that, but what I’m saying is pay attention to the details of what it’s going to take and do that. If you’re planning this trip, which is your desired vacation, then get yourself beach body ready, so to speak.
I’m not talking about the superficial stuff. I’m talking about the actual things that you need to do, medically speaking. If you have high blood pressure, go to the medical doctor and get your blood pressure down. See a fitness specialist, get some weight off, change your diet. Those kinds of things are the things that you should do so that once you are pregnant, you want to stay pregnant and give yourself the best chance of having a healthy pregnancy.
Going into a healthy pregnancy, there are tests that you can do from a genetic standpoint to make sure that your genes and – let’s say I’m a woman and I need a sperm cell – the genetic makeup of both things together are compatible, so that you don’t both carry a disease that may result in a pregnancy that may not be as healthy. Basically, I want to save people from having a surprise that they otherwise could have prevented.
I’m actually going to go back to my three pineapples, just as a reminder for the three things. If you forget or you think that you don’t have the health background to figure out how to plan your fertility future, you just have to ask yourself very simply, “What do I want?” If it’s as simple as, “I want a child, at this age,” then be very honest about what it’s going to take. If at that age your levels are a certain way, then perhaps you should think about doing something a little bit more proactively than perhaps waiting until you’re 39, 40, 42, and older. The average age of my patients is about 39 years old.
Thank you for reading. I really appreciate it. I hope that every single person who is reading gets and has the family of their dreams. Being a parent is one of the most difficult jobs anybody can have. My patients tell me all the time that they want to be covered in poop, covered in vomit, covered in pee, never sleep. I want anyone who wants that job to have that job, and I want everyone to live the life of their dreams. If that includes a family, I want you to have the family of your dreams.
