Coping with miscarriage is a very personal experience that every woman will do differently. Some women form a bond with their unborn child immediately upon the news that they are pregnant, while others only do when signs and symptoms of pregnancy begin.
If you’ve suffered a miscarriage you may have heard one of the following phrases:
Phrase #1 – You can always get pregnant again.
Phrase #2 – It is probably better that you miscarried, since something must have been wrong with the baby.
Phrase #3 – Well at least the baby wasn’t born yet.
Phrase #4 – God must have done it for a reason.
Miscarriage Tip #1 – It is not your fault! Approximately 40% of miscarriages have no medical explanation Also 50-60% of first trimester and 20% of second trimester miscarriages are due to chromosomal abnormatlities within the fetus. While coping with miscarriage many women believe that it is their fault that they miscarried. Many women will even feel that they are inadequate as a woman because they must be “defective” if they can not carry a pregnancy to term. While other women will wonder what they have done to deserve such a devastating experience.
Tip #2 – Anger is expected during the process of coping with miscarriage. Just understand that the anger is about the pregnancy loss and not having control over this devastating experience. Anger is a completely normal feeling during the process of coping with miscarriage. Women can feel anger towards God for “letting this happen”, medical field for not preventing the miscarriage, anger towards others who are pregnant or have children, and even their significant other for not coping with miscarriage the way they think they should.
Tip #3 – Feelings of Depression. This feeling if it occurs has different severity for each person coping with miscarriage. However, a minority of women actually develop actual depression. Women may find themselves crying at odd times, not wanting to get out of bed at times, and feeling of hopelessness. These are all normal feelings of grief. It is okay to cry and is actually healthy to cry. However, if these syptoms interfere with the woman’s daily life after several weeks she may need to find addtional support through professional counseling, church, or family and friends.
Find a local support group here: http://www.resolve.org/support-and-services/