Infertility treatment isn’t always about success. I wish I could guarantee pregnancy for every patient who walks into my clinic. I can guarantee that I will do my best to give you your highest chance of pregnancy but helping my patients cope with negative results isn’t easy. I’m always looking for things I can do to help my patients cope with their sadness and live in the moment.
I found this great article in the August 2010 SELF magazine. I’ve summarized some key points here.
If you’ve ever gone to a party and opened up to someone about your struggles, you may have heard one of the following statements:
“Don’t try so hard”
“Maybe if you just worked less and took a vacation, you would get pregnant”
“My neighbor’s friend’s cousin, had 4 miscarriages and is now pregnant again. I know you will be pregnant too someday.”
When you hear anything like that when out in public, it is so easy to stop talking and to isolate yourself. Researchers have shown that women who have difficulty getting pregnant can be as depressed as those who have major heart problems or cancer. But infertility doesn’t get the same media campaigns as cancer or heart disease. The only infertility campaign is the coverage of the Octomom.
So how do you live in the moment, not isolate yourself and still communicate with those who love you about your struggles? It’s so easy to sit in front of your computer and search fertility message boards for someone going through exactly what you’re going through to communicate with but this can be very isolating.
Here are some tips that may help you leave the house and socialize with your family and friends:
- A great tip I found in a SELF magazine article is this: try opening up a conversation by saying, “I want to tell you something, but I don’t want you to ask me a million questions.” By starting a conversation this way, you are in control and you can end the conversation at anytime but you may benefit by sharing your feelings.
- If someone tries to give you advice about what you should or shouldn’t be doing, let them know immediately that they are hurting your feelings, however unintentionally.
- Use the psychological support services that your clinic offers. There are health care professionals who can help you through your struggles. And visit resolve.org for more information on local support groups.
Read this article if you have time: http://www.self.com/health/2010/08/breaking-the-silence-on-infertility
Hope this helps