It really doesn’t matter how many kids you have, you will inevitably be asked at some point, “are you going to have another?”
According to a 2013 CDC report, 3 million women suffer from secondary infertility. My prediction is that the numbers will continue to rise as women become moms later in life. The Census Bureau Fertility data released today suggests that as well. The report showed that number of women age 40 to 44 who had only one child roughly doubled between 1976 and 2014.
Our society has a tendency to shame parents who have “only one” child. Let’s do what we can to stop “only child” shaming. If you have one child, and you’re asked if you’re going to have another, answer a question with a question. Simply ask, “Did you know how many benefits there are to having one kid?”
Many of my patients who come to me with secondary infertility are worried their child is going to get mad at them or blame them for not having a sibling when they are older. My patients don’t know what to say when their child asks for a sister or a brother. This is how this author answered her daughter’s questions about wanting to be a sister. The whole article is a must read. My favorite quote from this article is:
“Being a sister or brother isn’t just a condition of biology, but a condition of friendship. It’s a frame of mind. It’s a desire and willingness to protect, empathize and support. You don’t need to share a room with someone to be a sister, or to share a mother, or to share a bloodline. You simply must share yourself, and allow others to share themselves with you.”
Here is the excellent article about how great it is to have one child: