1. TAKE YOUR TIME to figure out what’s wrong and do all the diagnostic tests you think make sense for you before you start treatment. Understand what all the fertility factors possibly are in your unique case so you can do what you can to optimize your much deserved success. Simply ask your doctor: why am I not conceiving? What are the fertility factors we should pay attention to? Even if you don’t have any clear cut answers, talking about the possible factors in your case is really helpful. It’s a great place to start so you can feel like you’re making the best treatment decisions possible. The last thing you want to do is start fertility treatments to find out you should have addressed a very serious sperm issue or blocked tubes ahead of time.
2. Keep track of your RECORDS. I care so much about my patients and am always making sure we are always gathering data points during their course of treatment with me. What I mean is this: if it’s been awhile since you’ve done thyroid testing, do it! Keep track of it and make sure your levels are in range. If it’s been months since you’ve reassessed your ovarian reserve, check your fsh, estradiol and AMH levels again. Be your best patient advocate. Do it for your future! Part of keeping track of your records also means understanding why you’re doing what you’re doing and how you can optimize your chances for pregnancy. Just simply keep a binder and every time you have a blood test done, ask for the results, put it in the binder and bring it to your consults so you can be as much a part of your treatment as your health care providers.
3. Remember you are FERTILE! Do what you can to KEEP TRYING. I know it’s hard. Having intercourse on demand is hard work for everyone. It causes sadness and stress. Continue to check for signs of ovulation. You never know when you will ovulate the winner egg that will meet up with the winner sperm! It’s sometimes hard to believe after a long struggle that you could actually conceive but it happens all the time. People get pregnant at home after years of trying with fertility treatment.
4. LET IT GO! Grab a microphone and sing it from the top of your lungs! Understanding what’s going on with you and keeping track of your records is definitely in your control but at the end of the day, we have to let it go. There’s only so much we can do as human beings to try to conceive. At the end of the day, we have to let it go and just believe that success is around the corner and that you will get pregnant one way or another. “Letting-go coping” can help you during your fertility struggles.
5. Live your BEST LIFE TODAY! Part of letting go is also allowing yourself to live in the moment. Do what you can to enjoy each day. Trying to get out of “living in limbo” is easier said than done when you’re struggling to get pregnant but I find that if you find a support group and therapist to talk to you will find the journey to be easier. Acupuncturists can provide another holistic approach to treating you that can only help.
6. Do what you can to prevent CYBERCHONDRIA. I tell my patients that I will provide more up to date info than any google search can give them. Asking me a question is always going to give my patients more accurate and up to date info than asking a private fertility facebook group. I want my patients to bring in research articles and any thoughts that they have about their case but remember that just because you read it online doesn’t mean it’s true. So important to rely on your doctor’s advice for the most accurate info going on with you. If you feel like your doctor isn’t listening to your concerns be very open and upfront and ask for a consult to sit down and review what you think may be going on. You deserve the best!