In this episode, I am talking to the incredible Victoria Nino, author of Our Hearts Match, donor conception advocate, and mom of two about one of the most vulnerable moments in a fertility journey: what happens after IVF fails.
Victoria has lived through multiple failed IVF cycles, stage three endometriosis, years of heartbreak, and ultimately became a mother twice over through donor egg conception via two very different paths. Her story is raw, honest, and full of the kind of hard-won wisdom that only comes from truly living it.
We dive deep into the emotional rollercoaster of failed IVF cycles, the grief that so often goes unacknowledged, and what it really takes to open the door to donor eggs, not out of defeat, but out of empowerment. Victoria shares how education, community, and even a spiritual trip to Thailand helped her find her footing, and why she believes you don’t have to be 100% emotionally ready, you just have to be willing to take a peek.
In this episode, we cover:
- The grief of failed IVF cycles and why it deserves to be treated like any other profound loss
- The emotional tipping point between exhaustion and openness when considering donor eggs
- The difference between fresh and frozen donor eggs including cost, timeline, and access
- What an open donor relationship looks like and why Victoria wishes she’d had it from the start
- How epigenetics and bonding science can help shift your perspective on the mother-child relationship
- Overcoming shame, fear of judgment, and the “am I the real mom?” question
- Why Victoria’s one regret is that she didn’t do it sooner and what she’d tell anyone in the “what now” moment right now
Resources:
- Victoria Nino on Instagram: @expectinganything
- Victoria’s website: expectinganything.com
- Victoria’s support groups & classes: Infertility Unfiltered | @infertilityunfiltered
- Donor Nexus (frozen & fresh egg donation with open relationship options): https://www.instagram.com/donor.nexus/
- Book: Our Hearts Match by Victoria Nino
- Book: What Makes a Baby by Cory Silverberg
- The Egg Whisperer Show on YouTube and Spotify
